Rolling Right along

Kodi used to live for walks.  They were good for both of us.  But what he really loved, and needed, was a good couple of hours at the dog park.  Being a husky/shepherd crazy dog, he just needed to get all those kinks out.

Sometimes we came home looking like the first picture, but more often that not, it was the second or third pictures!  what a lot of work.  And smell!

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So I came up with this absolutely brilliant idea.  Let's rollerblade! 

It seemed like such a great idea at the time.  And the few times we went, it was awesome.  I just held on and away we went down Main street.  He loved it and I didn't have to drive anywhere. 

And then there was....the day.  It looked something like this:

A car was approaching and I wanted to move over closet to the curb but there was a car parked there.  Before I could do so, Kodi stopped.  I ran into him, he jumped out of the way, I fell over onto the grass.  Unfortunately the leash was looped over my wrist and when Kodi lunged he pulled so hard that I had to go to the ER for an xray for my shoulder.  Chipped a little piece right off my shoulder bone.  To this day that left shoulder gets cold quickly. 
I finally got rid of those rollerblades.  It was hard.  I had these delusions of grandeur of using them again so I stored them for years.  I kept telling myself "one day...".  I just couldn't let them go.

What I realize now is that it wasn't just getting rid of the rollerblades themselves that was hard.  It was the whole emotional side of it.  It was admitting that rollerblading was probably beyond my capabilities at this juncture of my life.  It was facing my reality that I already have enough health issues to manage without having to deal with broken bones. 

Most importantly, it was facing that I wasn't a kid any more.  Not even close.  Giving my rollerblades to my niece was really about saying goodbye and farewell to who I was once upon a time.  Of course I fought that kicking and screaming.  My girlfriend has her own "self help" AID program.  Avoid.  Ignore.  Deny.  I did her program for years with my rollerblades.

And then I came to an emotional and spiritual clearing.  I realized two things.  One, Samantha would probably love to have those rollerblades and they would actually get used.  Second, I allowed myself to be at peace with who I am now physically.  (although I still deny my physical limitations on a daily basis).  I think somewhere in my brain I thought that by holding onto those rollerblades that somehow I wouldn't be giving into the physically barriers that I have.  After all, there are lots of people who overcome huge physical challenges so why couldn't I? 

Why?  Because in reality it just wasn't going to happen.  And it won't in your life either.  That bowl with the chip in it that your grandma used for sugar won't make her come back.  Those dishes, cookbooks and recipes won't bring back your mom's cooking.  Sorry, but it won't.

True joy comes in the giving.  The same joy that you felt when you were bestowed the precious item continues only when you receive pure joy form it.  If there is any type of anxiety or negative emotions tied to it, it's time for that item to move on.  Trust me.  Whoever gave you the item wants you to be happy and not burdened by it.  That's why they gave it to you in the first place. 

Find peace with your stuff by finding peace with your Stuff.

Namaste!