Lord I am SO tired

How long can this go ON? - Devo, Working in a Coal Mine.

Can you relate?  If you are anything like me, you get really tired of being sick and tired.  Maddening isn't it?  And sad because we can feel a sense of worthlessness and imperfect.  It can hurt our soul

I remember my mother in law was home under hospice and I was folding laundry.  From her hospital bed she longingly looked at the basket of clothes and said "Oh what I wouldn't give to fold a load of laundry."  I'll never forget that. For years there were a lot of things I did by hand simply because I was physically able.  

But her words didn't have full meaning until my lupus got funky and I had kidney involvement.  My energy shifted from being able bodied to being almost to the point of greedy with my energy.  It's been a journey and excruciating emotional learning experience.  Again, maddening.

Here's where I could go into the whole "find the lesson in the pain", but I want to be a little more real.  Acceptance of one's situation takes time. It takes emotional energy.  And it honors the emotions that come with it - good and "bad".  

Life isn't perfect.  Neither are we.  And neither is everyone we compare ourselves to.  An ongoing lesson for me is "all that glitters is not gold".  And really, when is the last time you heard someone say, "wow! I have so much extra energy".  

Said noone ever!

​To you most Peaceful Self

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